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Sunday, October 16, 2011

Summer Romance

Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the Heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity and in a flash they're gone.

~ The Notebook
It was an ordinary Sunday, and the last thing I expected to see was a group of hot, young, Aussie men walking around the Hardrock. So when this group strolled past my area, I couldn't help but get excited, and when they stopped to watch, I just had to talk to them because "it's part of my job."
I scanned the group for my type of guy, and spotted Matt. He's got the dimples to die for and seems like the most matured of the guys. He spotted me too and approached the bar after I left with their glasses. We chatted about clubbing and where to go for food and finally I told him I'll meet up for drinks after work if they are still in Flame Bar. So basically, it was his call, and of course he's a single guy on holiday, he's surely looking for some fun.
So there I was in Flame Bar with Julia and he was sitting with the guys. He didn't come over until well a few minutes and made me think it was stupid that I went there in the first place. Luckily, the old couple who are regular guests of Hardrock came by as well as another colleague which doesn't make me look like a desperate girl looking for a boyfriend. 
I got a little too busy for him and the guys wanted to go to a strip club so he gave me his number. I kind of sat there for a few minutes after he left thinking whether or not I should throw it away. Julia said to throw it, but I did otherwise, I put it in my pocket and sent him a message when I got home.
I have to confess that recently, I haven't actually been miss hottie. I think I lost a little bit of self-esteem and I feel kind of pathetic because I'm turning 25 soon, I'm dating 2 guys, both of them emotionally unavailable. One is my ex-boyfriend trying to get back together with me while he's trying to work on a long distance relationship with his girlfriend. The other one is so much worse, that he only calls me when he feels like it, acts like he cares when we're together, but ignores me the rest of the time. Take note that he was a good friend and this was the last thing I expected would happen.
I decided that night that since my current relationships are nothing but a waste of time and energy, why don't I share special moments with this stranger while he's on holiday? Have fun, pretend to be in love, have awesome sex and hang out because I know that after a few days it's going to be over. I thought there'd be no harm in trying it.
I met with Matt in MGM the next night and hung out with the boys at Playmates for a little bit until we decided to head back to the hotel. I learned he plays football in Australia and is very close to his mom. He's cute and funny and great in bed. We both had an amazing night and he said he'd take me to dinner the next day.
We had Brazilian dinner the next night and the other boys tagged along. I didn't really mind since they were having a group holiday anyway. This was when I learned I was going to get married to Matt and I don't know, I probably am a little off my game I couldn't ride with the joke. I felt so stupidly timid and serious and old, I kind of hated myself. 
After dinner, they gambled in the MGM, went for drinks at the Lion's Bar and that's where all hell broke loose because the announced our "engagement" and made us both go on stage. It was funny but embarrassing knowing that the band and a lot of the people there actually know me. Ugh!
Our next and final stop that night was D2 Club and Mattie got so drunk, so fucked and so loose that I kind of got turned off by it. He claims he isn't always like that, but I wouldn't know and he's excused since he's on holiday anyway. We went back to the hotel, made love like honeymooners and I came so many times I lost count. I got a bit disappointed that he couldn't come because he was too fucked up already. He had a boner the whole night and most of the next morning.

For ladies' night, I got fab and sexy, brought Julia with me in the limo ride with the boys, went cruising around Macau and partied like a rockstar in D2. It was so much fun and I knew it was the last party I was going to have with the guys. I got looser than before, got carried, spilled drinks, broke glasses by accident, laughed, smoked and danced that I was so tired after. Matt left early, saying he was feeling too sick, he didn't ask me to go with him so I stayed. I went home alone and that's  when I knew trouble was coming.
The next day was their last, they did the Macau Bungy at the Tower and everyone said it felt great. I went to the hotel after work to stay with him one last time and I kind of felt a little lost because I knew already that it was going to be goodbye the next day. I was distant, cold and quiet, and so was he. We made love for the last time and then slept for a few hours.
At 7:30am, I went home wishing I never had the last four days because I couldn't help but think of his smile, his crazy dimples and his touch. I know this couldn't be love, it was a holiday romance and it was only good until it lasted. 
I've been back to reality for a couple of days now, and I can't help but to think that it's time to move on from Macau. I don't have friends here except the girls, I don't have a boyfriend and when I need to be with someone, most of the time, there's no one. It's lonely, and tonight, it got too lonely that I cried.
I wish I was in Nicholas Sparks' novel Dear John, where they had a summer romance but at least it lasted for a while. They didn't end up together but it became a real thing. I know Matt promised he'd keep in touch, but it's impossible for me to ever see him again other than in cyberspace. Besides, he's probably having another holiday fling in Thailand now, and he'll go back to his normal life and forget about me and Macau when he touches down in Perth again.
 

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