Monday Night Final Verdict

It's a very complicated situation I've put myself in. I can't believe it. I really love the guy and I just don't want to give him up.

Oh, someone just smack me hard on the head. This is ridiculous! He should be playing the game according to my rules, not the other way around. *sigh* So what happened? I can't even bring myself to write it down without getting pissed and wanting to shout at the top of my lungs. LOL.

Last week, this girl sent him messages about visiting him, flight confirmation, etc. and he went berserk saying, "Why can't you just leave me alone???" Now the girl's here, worse, staying in his apartment--which by the way is a studio. Did we not talk about me being his girlfriend already? Didn't he say he wants to be a better man for me and marry me and didn't he say he only tells ME these things. Am I being an idiot?

So he invited me over last night with the girl there, and I went just to see whether I should kick her out. She was too nice to get kicked out. I guess she knew her place. Lucky her, though, because I didn't know mine. I just finished the movie, kept myself composed, kept counting from 1 to 10 for the whole time and breathing slow. This felt so foreign to me. Never have I ever had to share my man with anyone else, and I swear I could never. So, next time I have him for myself, we'll have a little pep talk again.

Seriously, I'm getting tired of these little talks. It's like forcing him into doing something he's either not ready or just not willing to do. It's disrespectful and insensitive. I don't know how to rub that in nicely to him. I don't even know now how much he means what he says when he says things. I mean, not just to me, but in general. *sigh* It's starting to look like he feels he should make promises whenever I talk to him.

Well, I've had enough. It's either he straightens out or I'm out. This is final.